2.07.2009

To be or not to be? That is the questions.

We don't have cable and we don't get the newspaper so the only way we hear the news is on the internet.  We usually look up CNN and read the top headlines.  Well this article was not one of the top ten but definitely caught my eye.  It's about a women, mid 30's almost married, and how she and her "old man" are in no hurry to have kids now, or ever.  Not only is she in no hurry but they compare children to their dogs, would find it a pain in the butt to have to care for them, thinks pregnancy is disgusting, and she feels like parents have to say having a family is amazing.

Immediately after reading this article I wanted to slap her in the face... with some sense, but after some thought I realized that she probably shouldn't have any kids.  At least she's put a lot of thought into it, right?  Because there are some people who have kids just because they're "supposed to" and they turn out to be bad parents and should've never procreated in the first place.  On the other hand, from a moral perspective, we were commanded to multiply and replenish the earth.  Do you think that even though you may not want to be a parent you still should because it was commanded of us?

A little after Kurt and my two year anniversary we had a surprise pregnancy.  I was so upset I cried for a couple of days.  I was NOT ready to have a baby.  One day I woke up and accepted my pregnancy.  The next day I miscarried.  How ironic!  I had feelings of guilt, guilty that I caused the miscarriage for not wanting the baby and then feelings of betrayal, I guess is an okay word to describe it.  I felt like something was stolen from me and I wanted it back.  Three months after my miscarriage we purposefully got pregnant and nine months later had Drew.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't write something off unless you've tried it.  Geez, I wish I could write better.  I don't really know how you can try out your own biological children and be able to send them back if you don't like it, but it makes me so sad when people feel like children are parasites when they've never had any of their own.

These were my own experiences and opinions but I want to know what you think!

Don't forget to take a guess on what I'm having, on the expectnet.com widget to your right!

12 comments:

IWA said...

I think her biological clock isn't the only thing broken!

on one hand I think thank goodness she's not having any kids with her attitude.... on the other hand I think how sad it is when they dont have a clue about the eternal family hapiness.....they're missing out!

lyle and julia said...

I think you are right feeling both ways...I look at my Zeke and am sure there could not be a greater blessing in the universe then the one I have in my arms but really so many kids are born to parents who don't want them and have rotten growing up years and then become rotten people. I just think about how much Heavenly Fathers heart aches when he sees one of his beloved children going into a home like that. Better have people who don't want kids to not have them. She is probably breaking plenty of other commandments anyway. At least those aren't hurting God's innocent little babies.

The Waldon Family said...

Noelle, I wish there were more mothers like you! You are such a good mom. As for my vote, after I got married I thought a girl could get pregnant immediately so I cried every single month, that time of the month, until Kaylee decided to come along. I think it was like six months, poor Aaron! So my vote is if you are a you're married... there isn't anything else greater in the whole wide world. Stories of bad parents makes me want to adopt. We miss you guys!

The Waldon Family said...

*if you're married...

Michael Laura Jonah Ryker said...

what is it with people treating dogs like kids and kids like dogs? seriously some people do treat their pets better then some treat their real children! there are a lot of things people do and say that I just don't understand and not wanting children is one of them! but I would rather she didn't have any kids than to find out later that she did and treated them badly there's already so many bad parents out there we don't need anymore! going through classes to become foster parents we heard of too many sad stories I just couldn't believe. anyway my point is if she doesn't think having children is a special gift and blessing then she shouldn't have kids end of story!!!! and she's probably not that concerned about commandments.

iMaLLheaRt said...

AMEN sister!! I'm glad that she's not going to have any kids cuz it doesn't sound like she'd make a good mom! I'd say something else here but you've basically said it all!

Torry, Jeffrey, and Dozer said...

Here here sista!!

Cari said...

i too have never understood the mentality of not wanting to have children..but on the extreme other end of the spectrum you have a crazy single mom brining 14 children into the world with not much means to support them!!

Melissa said...

she is just selfish, naive and ignorant. I betcha one day she will regret every word in that article.

Melissa said...

as soon as she has kids she will know how dumb that was.

In.A.Nutshell said...

oh my gosh, reading that article seriously INFURIATED me!! i'm still trying to simmer down ...

breathe, breathe ...

ok

JERK!

ok

so, i admittedly wasn't the girl who grew up dreaming of kids and housewifing and dinner-on-the-table-by-5 type of life. but i CHOSE it because i believed doing so would bring greater joy than any other life-style choice. and i feel like i wasn't a very good mom for the first year-and-a-half or so. i wondered why someone didn't check my qualifications first, or interview me for the job, or something. i had no idea what i was doing or how to do it better or why i seemed to always be doing it wrong, yada yada yada.

so, i think a woman should not have children if she doesn't want to. i think this commandment, like any other commandment, is left up to our agency. i wanted to have kids and had a hard time learning how to be a mom. if you take someone with NO desire like this BAD WORD person, and tell them "have kids" you're forcing them to obey a commandment they have no repect for.

on a funnier note, case and i were talking once about how there should be an on/off switch for childbearing that could only be turned ON for certain circumstances, like stable homes, no teen moms, no welfare babies, etc. etc. then i realized that "switch" is SEX and you're only SUPPOSED to flip it after you're married. not that all married people are primed and ready for progeny, but they're definitely a step in the right direction.

so this woman shouldn't be flipping any switches. (haha)

Erin and James said...

i think it is sad that people feel that way but I would rather have them not having kids then having them and treating them like crap! I was watching law and order yesterday and they had a mom who drank a ton and her first baby who she gave up for adoption had fetal alcohol syndrome, and then she was prego again and drinking and her baby would have the same thing and it made me soooo mad that people are that stupid and i don't get how they can get prego when they treat it all like a joke. life is not always fair i guess!

 
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