Umm... Nevermind

Cedar City here we come!  Kurt and I have been doing lots of thinking lately and we decided this is the best move for us right now.  It's honestly like Heavenly Father said, "Nope.  Your not going to Korea."  After learning I was pregnant we tried to ignore this feeling but we finally realized it's the right thing to do.  Having a baby changes everything!  So we sadly ruled out Korea for us right now, and we knew we couldn't live with my mom or afford an apart in Hawaii till the baby was born, so Utah it is.  We are really sad that we won't be going to Korea, Kurt most of all.  I kinda feel like I let him down, but he knows it's what we're supposed to do.  When we thought about me smelling all the different foods with this pregnant nose, it sealed the deal.  We thought about maybe going after the new baby is a little older but then it would just prolong us settling down that much more.  You know, when you live your regular day to day life you don't see how much your in the Lords hands until you let him make huge decisions for you.  It makes life that much easier.  So now that we have sealed the deal we're actually really excited.  We'll be living in the same town as all of Kurt's family and we'll be living 3-4 hours away from my sisters and my mom's family.  We're so excited to be able to have our kids know their cousins.  Kurt, being born and raised in Cedar is so excited to share with the kids his love for the outdoors.  This is one of those bitter sweet posts and life changes.  We're leaving Wednesday September 24th.  Less than a month away!  I also went back to the doctors today and I'm due April 1st.  Baby is doing good and was moving a lot in the ultrasound.  I'm actually REALLY sad I'm leaving my doctor behind.  Something kinda fun to look forward to is my sister Breana is going to be married in Hawaii in December.  So if you're going to be here for Christmas vacation, we'll see each other again then.  So thats our news for now and I'm sure I'll come up with more drama before we leave!  :)

Surprise surprise!

Hiyah!  A lot of you have probably wondered where I've been.  The person you can rely on to post every other day because I have nothing better to do has gone MIA.  Well lately I have not been feeling up to posting or even blogging all together.  Read on readers if you want a story.

July 28th I couldn't take it much longer.  I was two weeks late for my period.  The month before I was a week and a half late when I finally spent the money to get a pregnancy test.  Both test taken a day apart were negative.  I really wish I would've saved a test.  They are just annoyingly expensive to me.  All of this was going through my head when we passed it.  A huge UGLY sign in Kanehoe that announced a Free Pregnancy and Counseling Clinic.  Hahahaha!  Kurt and I HAD to do it not because it was free but because it was too funny of a situation to pass up.  It looked like a place a pregnant teen would go if they didn't want their parents to know.  We thought it would be kinda funny if I played it that way.  So I go in and Kurt stays in the car with the kids.  I walked through the doors and thought this isn't as ghetto as the sign made out to be, it looks okay.  Then I noticed the crosses and signs with a  scripture quoted on it.  The thing I missed as I walked in was the little fish symbol for Christ in the corner of the sign.  Hahahaha!  It made it that much better.  So I go and sign in and the nurse immediately tells me that you have to make a $5 donation to cover all the costs as she pushes a clear donation box at me.  I almost laughed and turned around but I gave them $5 in quarters.  The nurse then led me to a room that I thought would be like a doctors office but the other thing I missed was that it was a counseling center too.  So instead of a patient bed there was a couch.  Okay whatever that's kinda cool.  I knew she wasn't a doctor and I wasn't going to be checked but still a couch was to get comfortable and I just wanted to take the test and go.  But I sit down and she starts asking me questions.  So I am supposed to be comfortable.  I give her all the personals and then she goes more personal.  She asked how many partners my husband and I have had and I said just each other and then she asked if I have ever taken and STD test.  No I wouldn't need to.  By the look on her face she was going to give it to me.  She started shaking her head and was about to tell me how you can never trust your husband then my mind started working.  Wait!  I have two kids.  Don't they give you an STD test at your first prenatal visit?  My pregnant teen cover was blown but it was better to tell than to have to hear her lecture.  She relaxed but she wasn't through yet.  Her next question was, "Do you have a relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ?"  umm... yes...  "Well let me tell you about my experience finding a relationship with him.  The next 45 min she told me her life story.  Now I really wished I wouldn't have come.  It just was not worth it.  I started to write what she had said to me but Kurt and I concluded that it wasn't good for the soul.  Let me just say that as she was bearing her testimony to me it strengthened mine and my choice to be a member of this church.  Every trial she told me about would've been prevented if she lived like us.  I wanted to bear her my testimony but it didn't feel right.  And how she gained a testimony through her experiences I have NO idea.  So finally after my spirit took a couple of hits she finally said it was time for the test.  I went in the bathroom, peed in a cup and she gave me stick to stick in it.  Then we went back in the dreaded counseling room.  This time when we sat down she asked if I wanted to see her babies.  Hmm... her kids?  Nope.  She whipped out this velvet box and opened it to reveal babies to scale of size and weight at 6 weeks 7 weeks all the way to 12 weeks.  That one she wanted me to hold.  That was it.  If she asked me to do one more freakish thing I was gone!  I'll hold your scary baby but if there was anything else I had to do to just find out if I was pregnant I would take my $5 donation back and leave.  I held the baby, gave it a little shake because it was rubbery and handed it back.  Last question she asked before we found out,"If you find out the test is positive what are you planning on doing with the baby?"  Now my slow mind went through a thousand answers at once, name it, feed it, hold it, I could've used a twix right then but then I caught on.  Keep it?  Right answer.  She held up the test, I signed a paper and I finally was released.  So for those of you who haven't figured it out yet, because I am apparently an open book, I'm pregnant!  

Now to answer questions that you may or may not be thinking.  It was NOT planned.  I actually got back to the car and bawled.  One of my biggest fears was to have three kids three and under.  If you could personally handle three kids three and under more power to you.  Get them done and over with, but for me...I never mentally thought I personally could handle it.  I wanted to have the next one in October 2010.  Call me bad, call me evil, but I cried for a couple of days after.  We're supposed to be leaving for Korea in the near future.  I do NOT want to have a baby there!!  I googled a ton about having a baby in Korea and the c-section rate is 40%!!  So now I'm terrified.  Through my self pity I got to thinking why would Heavenly Father give me a baby that was not planned on, when there are too many women who are having a hard time getting or keeping a pregnancy?  The only thing I could think of was that this pregnancy was not only not planned but I really shouldn't have gotten pregnant.  So... even though having a baby may not have been on our agenda it was on the Lords agenda.  At least that's what I've been telling myself.  So why have I been so MIA?  I feel like CRAP!  All I want to do is lay on the couch.  This is the worst morning sickness I've had.  I don't throw up but that doesn't mean that it's not as bad as if I did.  My poor mom and husband have been waiting on me hand and foot.  They have been SO good to me.  I can't eat the same thing twice, I can't make my own food because the smell of everything makes me dry heave, but I need to eat every other hour.  So they name things off and will make late night runs to get me what sounds good at that time.  My poor kids are SO neglected by me.  If Kurt has to go anywhere the kids will sit in front of the tv till somebody comes home and takes care of them.  So this post has taken over a week to write because I only come on the computer when I feel somewhat okay.  Then to tack on more to my pathetic body I woke up Saturday morning with a crick in my neck.  I have to turn my whole torso to look to my right and a sharp pain hits when I move my head a quarter inch towards my shoulder.  I'm going in for a massage tonight and I'm praying it helps because I feel bad when I have the 'just kill me now' feeling.  Moving on I should be due March 22nd but my kids are always small to start off with and the first ultra showed I should be due April 1.  On Friday my Dr. will make the final decision for my due date.  With the baby due then Brody and baby will be two years apart and Drew will be turning four in July.  We've concluded to have one more soon after this one and be done!  I was praying I was having twins with this pregnancy so I wouldn't have to go through the morning sickness again, but I have no luck.  It's okay though.  If I calculate correctly my kids will be out of the house by the time I'm 45.  That sounds good to me.

ps i'm happy, just feel like crap

Better Late Than Never

This is LONG over due.  Kurt's birthday was 08/08/08.  He kinda got cheated out of his birthday this year because the morning of he had to go into Covance, a drug reasearch center, and stay for the entire weekend.  And he had the computer so I couldn't post anything till now.  I'm so sorry Kurty!  Kurt is the best husband and dad for us.  He helps out with the kids and around the house more than I can take credit for.  I was miserable when he was gone for the weekends.  It shows what kinda guy he really is when he would go to a testing center on his birthday knowing that he was going to get his blood drawn 24 times during his entire stay.  Since moving in with my mom Kurt has had fun making repairs on the house and doing some yard work.  When I'm not feeling well Kurt will volunteer to take the kids out for a little while and 6 hours later they will come back.  Or when we're having a missionary lesson with Keenan Kurt will take the kids out so we can have more of a spiritual setting and a movie later they will come back.  He's so funny!  The kids are SO good for him during movies that it's no big deal to him to take them.  Whenever we go to the play area in Windward mall, or any playground for that matter, Kurt will be the only person down on his knees playing with his kids.  He's so good to us!  I could go on and on but I'll save you the mushy stuff.  I love you Kurty!!  Happy Belated Birthday!

Baptism

Sunday August 17th Keenan Tanaka is going to be baptized at the Keolu Hills Chapel in Kailua at 4:15 pm.  How amazing is that and how cute is he?  Our prayers are being answered with him now able to attend church every other week.  I want to thank everyone who has prayed for Keenan.  It means a lot to our family and him.  I finally got a picture of him in his church outfit!

Warning! Readers be Advised!

If you are still reading Breaking Dawn or haven't yet do not read any further!!  I'm going to give my full opinion of the book with every spoiler spoiled.

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So if you've disregarded my warnings you have either finished the book, could care less about reading it, or just like to spoil your own fun.  I'm not going to dawdle but going to get right into it.  I was SORELY disappointed!  It started off okay.  I loved that they got married and that they actually did it while she was human but how did she get pregnant?  If vampire's can't cry how in the world did that bodily fluid flow?  Sure he was stuck at his 18 year old self but that still doesn't explain to me how he could get her pregnant.  That's okay though.  She's pregnant, that's interesting, I can live with that.  Then why did it have to change from Bella's point of view to Jacob's?  I mean I know that you had to know why he broke from the pack and all that but I can't stand listening from Jacob's point of view.  But that's okay it needed to be done to also tell that he imprinted on Renesmee... which by the way is the stupidest name in the world!  I was very disappointed with the name.  I also wanted Edward to actually bite Bella instead of injecting her with his venom. I know he bit all around her neck and such but I don't know.  I guess I wanted that part to be more romantic/gory/initimate?  Does that make sense?  But that was just a minor detail.  I could let that one go.  Now back to the imprinting... WHAT?  Sure it made sense when she was explaining that Jacob should be a part of their family and more than a friend.  It just got a little... silly?  Over the top?  That's okay though.  What I cared about was the battle at the end that looked like there was no way around.  Before I move on to THAT subject another thing, Why did Stephenie Meyer waste so much time with J. Jenks?  If in the end of the book there was no need, why waste so much time on that subject?  All she needed to say was that she got papers for Renesmee and Jacob.  Moving on, why in the world did Stephenie Meyer pass up the chance to have a huge epic battle scene?  That was the biggest disappointment in the entire series.  What was she thinking?  It could've been amazing with the wolves, the newly befriended vampires, and have the Volturi's witness choosing the Cullen's side.  She didn't have to let any of the Cullen's die if that's what she wanted.  I was SO ready for this amazing battle scene and it didn't happen.  Did she want us to focus on just Bella and Edward the true main focus of all the books?  Because I personally believe the reader's love for the couple would have magnified ten times if they would've survived the fight.  All in all the book wasn't bad but was a big disappointment.  If I would've known the build up was going to be the biggest let down I'm not sure I would've wasted my time with the series.  I LOVED Twilight and Eclipse but if it was going to end this lame I would've ended the series with Twilight + him biting her and them doing it. :)  That's just my opinion.  Tell me what you think.

Bite Me! hahahaha

I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it!!  Right now it is 9:12 pm Pacific time and although I'm not going to the Border's party I am going tonight to pick up my book!  My mom is going to watch my kids while they sleep so I can sneak out and get it!!  Kurt is at Covance right now being a guinea pig or else I would've made him come with me to the party and dress up.  Nah, I've never been to one of those parties, always wanted to go, but terrified it would be lame.  I'm just so excited!!  I took the kids to the mall earlier today and I got a wristband with a number on it.  At 11:40 pm we have to line up by number to determine who's first in line.  I was apparently the fifth person to get a wristband so I'll be the fifth person to get my book.  Again I can't wait, I'm so excited and if Edward doesn't bite Bella by the end of the book I'm going to have a huge bonfire, Hitler style, and everyone is welcome to join me.  Happy reading!

A Tag for the Kids

1. What is something mom always says to you?

Time out! *True*

2. What makes mom happy?
A toy *True if it's shiny or expensive*

3. What makes mom sad?
a lot *Not THAT much*

4. How does your mom make you laugh?

happy *True, when I'm happy she says, "You're happy mom," then laughs.*

5. What was your mom like as a child?

sad *True if she means sad-pathetic but more mean if she means literally*

6. How old is your mom?
2 *FALSE, 24*

7. How tall is your mom?
happy *FALSE, not even happy with my height*

8. What is her favorite thing to do?

swim *True it's one of my favorite things*

9. What does your mom do when you are not around?

not go swimming *True*

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?

for the temple *?*

11. What is your mom really good at?
to sleep *True but I wish I was better*

12. What is your mom not so good at?
taking a shower *True, it's such a waste of time*

13. What does your mom do for her job?
a fish *True if she means I swim with my kids like a fish*

14. What is your mom’s favorite food?

sandwiches *True if she means French Dip but really, Italian*

15. What makes you proud of your mom?

happy *She obviously likes me being happy*

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
cars *Hmm...Sally the Porsche?*

17. What do you and your mom do together?

a frog *I have no idea what that is*

18. How are you and your mom the same?

we like to swim *Very true*

19. How are you and your mom different?

owie *We get the same amount of owies so I dunno what she means*

20. How do you know your mom loves you?

kiss me *SO TRUE*

This was so cute!  I'm really surprised how much Drew understood and how much she didn't understand but her answers related to the question.  I should do this once a year and see how much her answers change.  I love my Dew and I'm so grateful for her sweet spirit.

Drew wants to tag AdiElla, Fiona, and Addi.